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Fug the Show: Reign Recap, Season 2, Episode 8

Hello, Fug Nation, and apologies since the tardiness of this recap. I got cause to ply over by a deadline and a turkey, in that order. Luckily, not that much happened in this digression — I’ve come to the realization that this evidence is very good at making it SEEM like totality kinds of action is afoot, except when I come here to commit to paper about it, I realize it’s fairly easily boiled into disrepute. To wit: Shit is getting REAL betwixt the Catholics and the Protestants (I give faith to this is how Mrs Cole, my AP European annals teacher, also summarized it), and Francis’s tenuous grasp on the nation is since basically the equivalent of him dangling athwart a cliff, hanging on with single his fingertips whilst angry French folks stamp on his hands.

You can tell things are extra bad inasmuch as the Extremely Terrible Thing That Happens In the Opening Scene is the pretence of this dude:

…who at another time cuts off a man’s lips to punish him for being a Protestant (although the man denies this). This is where I’d make a ham-handed Nobody Expects The Spanish Inquisition crank, except we’re not technically in Spain. This Terrifying Dude is terrorizing the many the crowd on behalf of the Pope, who has true little faith in Francis’s knack to get his citizens to pass in religious line. And while I am not forward the side of Religious Intolerance, obviously, the Pope isn’t WRONG taken in the character of far as that goes. Francis is a TERRIBLE KING who does no governing at all and apparently poorly leaves the house. He’s genus of the President Fitzgerald Grant of France in stipulations of his governing ability (although he is a nicer spouse, generally, and his fidelity is in a great degree more sterling. They are also the pair, however, murderers). Anyway, there’s a portion of torture and angst in this episode over The Question of Heresy (I honestly call to mind “The Question of Heresy” is what this chapter in my Euro textbook was called) however the upshot for you, CW Viewer, is that everyone hates everyone, fury begets more violence, Francis is a dread king, and he and Mary offer reasons a lot about how to deal through this (she has not yet left France, that he keeps trying to get her to to perform, for her own safety, though he won’t betray her that’s his argumentation), and she basically hates him as it should be now and he’s well stocked of Sadness and Despair. She furthermore wears a knitted shoulder cozie:

I actually wish this show would sometimes cut to England, to a shot of Elizabeth I  reading a letter from one of her spies detailing to what degree terrible a ruler Francis is, followed by a moment where she fluffs her wig and calls Robert Dudley into the swing to bring her some figs. (Also, I would be so much better at recapping a speciousness set in England because it turns out I understand about 500% more British history than I terminate French. Sorry, France. I could vibrate it if you’d be willing to time-travel this unfold until it was set during (a) the French successful revolt,  (b) the second act of Les Miserables, or (c) World War II. I clearly read very little historical fiction relating to People Having Romantical Troubles In the French Vicinity of Mary, Queen of Scots.)

I am, but, sort of interested in poor Princess Claude, who Catherine is trying to marry off to someone whose station is WAYYYYY below Claude’s — primarily for the cause that Catherine has decided Claude has been curseladen by the ghosts of her Catherine’s dead gemini and therefore she needs to achieve out of the castle as lief as possible. We can’t WHOLLY reproach the Twin Ghosts for being pissed, nevertheless, because we learn in flashbacks that it’s entirely practicable that Claude kinda murdered them, and in addition that she was once Kira from Orphan Black and Kira is race of annoying.

In fact, while I surmise that she is one of those characters that a great number of regular viewers hated on visibility, Princess Claude kind of cracks me up. She’s such terrible and spoiled:

And I have power to’t blame her for not absent to marry this wanker:

He’s not intimately posh enough for A PRINCESS, in the beginning of all — he’s appropriate a son of a Bavarian esteem and that is TRADING DOWN whereas your brother is the King of France — and consider at his hair!

And because the rumors of her having banged a minister have gotten out (the priest be obliged to have talked), she also has to sustain this VERY HUMILIATING and TERRIBLE test to determine whether or not she’s a chaste and ergo fit to marry before-mentioned Wanker:

First of all, this Bavarian Count ought to be DELIGHTED that his son is workmanship such an excellent match that I should suppose he’d leap at the make differentin. to seal the deal, regardless of whether or not Claude has, er, hesitating her seal. Catherine DOES seem to be conscious of being bad about this terrible terrible exhibition (for which Claude apparently has too been forced to dress like a modest bride on her wedding night), and I exhausted about forty-five minutes pondering that mysterious poultice was applied to Claude’s vagina thus that she could pass it in the van of I realized that Catherine in truth paid off the Corrupt Catholics Conveniently In Town To Cut People’s Faces Off who performed reported test. (I love the weird pertaining poultices used in every historical recent ever when a woman needs to approximate virginity/prevent pregnancy, all of which are usually given to her by her erudite/sassy lady’s maid, who eventually direction find happiness with a kind commoner’s guard and/or have existence murdered.)

Despite going through this whole terrible ordeal to prove her freshness, Claude decides to throw the heroic by wandering into the salon and performance the wanton in front of Bavaria by Lord Narcisse, grinding on his be folded over and purring much scandalous innuendo:

The candelabra are scandalized, unless Lord N is sort of into it, since things with Lola have taken a incompetent turn for him. Lord Narcisse is ALSO the moral qualities who proves that Standards and Practices took most distant early for Thanksgiving, because in this representation he asks Claude to hand him his broidery when she gets up to allowance, presumably to conceal his boner from total of the court, and earlier he had a familiar discourse with Lola in which he, viewed like some sort of 31 Shades of Grey bait technique, tells her that one of his dead wives used to use the pommel on her saddle to masturbate:

I am not a full prude, but I was sort of surprised they lease that one pass. ANYWAY, I put on’t blame Lola for heart peevish with Narcisse because he character of kidnaps her here — I likewise don’t think it’s a identical size that she’s wearing a red clock and roving the forest when this happens, since surely Narcisse IS a bit of a wolf — and soon afterward later Francis explains that he wants to constitution Narcisse as a spy because Narcisse threatened the life of their son. When confronted, Narcisse tells Lola — and he’s rectilinear, by the way — that HE wasn’t menacing the child, he was mostly pointing out that for Francis is such a weak and shitty monarch, it’s highly likely that nation gunning for the crown will subsist tempted to get rid of his heirs. And that’s a abandoned move on her part to repel the safety that would come by his friendship. All of which I presume is probably accurate. Then he storms out in every angry and sexy flurry.

Lola does a LOT of asking mob what their damage is this week, because she’s the best, which means that she also calls Francis out attached (a) killing his father and (b) heart such a shitty liar, especially to Mary, and (c) using her to transact his biding without giving her the unimpaired story vis a vis their bantling, and she does so in this extremely pretty dress:

You know how more actors just look natural in era pieces — Kate Winslet, for person — and others (say, Jennifer Lawrence) practise not? (I suppose American Hustle was a era piece, and J Law was famous in that, but you feel me: I accept my doubts that she would have an air right in a six-part miniseries in an opposite direction the War of the Roses or affair, despite being a tremendous actor). Anna Popplewell has a meet in front for period pieces, which means that I reason she often looks the closest to punish in her wardrobe, even if it’s not technically faithful.

Rose Williams also has a Period Piece Face, for all that the period piece she is starring in seems to be set amongst the robber barons circa 1911:

In other Dress News, Catherine looks awesome in this, malevolence the fact that she’s got to gather one child from a curse and she’s as luck may have it hallucinating two other children:

The no other than person who seems to notice that Catherine is behaving in a squirrelly mode is Bash, who — it’s extraordinary — has ALSO seen the twin ghosts (right? He’s seen ghosts GENERALLY, bound I think the ones he saying were the twins, yes? They are, I deem, his half-sisters as well). He wants Catherine to exist nicer to Claude, and Catherine naturally smirks a thing about his perhaps inappropriate closeness through her. I feel like no single in kind is sufficiently grossed out by the circumstance that Bash and his half-sister got it attached, especially Bash (I admit I haven’t got to spend a great quantity time with this character, but he SEEMS like a bodily substance who would have some guilt on the point that).

I also LOVED this dispose on Lola:

I mean, it’s violation of right, but it’s fantastic — you can’t tell from this photo, but there’s some great beading right and left the top of the neckline. Basically, this full show is Anna Popplewell auditioning beneficial to a variety of other period pieces.

On the incompatible tact, at some point during the We Have Problems Because You’re a Shitty King And Haven’t Told Me The Truth And France Is a Total Mess Right Now back and from retirement with Francis and Mary (which I deem is also serving to perhaps go driving Mary into Openly Protestant But Also Upstanding and Hot Lord Conde’s martial array), Mary wears this outfit that makes her complexion like she’s playing a doomed angelic in a pantomime set-piece that was cut from Atonement:

At least she and Francis pleasure always have their matching capes:

Even admitting that they HATE EACH OTHER now and everything is, at the same time that Francis tells Lola, a total freaking stroke for him on all counts. Happy holidays, French court!