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Fug the Show: Scandal recap, season 4, episode 7, “Baby Made A Mess”

This week, Scandal doesn’t salmagundi around — it just cuts near to the chase:

There is nay lead-up to the wine. There is proper wine. We begin with wine. Wine is the alpha of this likeness, and someday, when it ends, the hindmost shot should be Olivia in the greatest in quantity resplendent wine cardigan of her life, picking up a hercules goblet full of elixir and pique a rich sip.


Liv is forward the phone with Fitz, of run after. “So I say there’s faith and that means you call me each night?” she asks, as allowing that this is ANY kind of surprise to her, viewed like if they haven’t been below the horizon this road a hundred times. Liv. Seriously. This is the practised neighborhood. All the same houses are forward the same sides of the road, the same ugly metal fence is rectilinear there on the corner, and in that place’s still that same dude who knocks without ceasing your door at 2 a.m. hoping on account of some pity sex. It’s THE SAME.

Now that Olivia has reported there is hope, Fitz wants to skip straight to the part where she goes bobbing in quest of apples in his pants. “Is Jake life fed?” she counters. Fitz stiffens in a variant way when she goes on and forward about whether he’s getting sunlight and protection and time forward the jungle gym and being cuddled three ages a day by an armed defend dressed as a puppy, and as the world goes everything else one might expect in Supermax gaol when one allegedly murdered the president’s child. I mean, really, it’s regular a very under decorated day-care center.

Mellie and her effulgent grapewear are listening to this conference. She realizes Fitz is in the centre of making a childlike “Hope 4 Pope 2014″ campaign sign and backs not present.

Did you ever think to yourself, “Gee, I room for expectation they’ll throw in a transient scene about one of those antiquated Case of the Week mysteries?” Because this Bud’s with a view to you. Quinn gives us a LENGTHY recap: Sonya Walger’s stepdaughter Caitlin was murdered subsequent overhearing her father having an unlawful conversation at his office, and stealing a folder full of Olivia Pope pictures in the manner that proof of something. (Of WHAT? Did someone condemn her with fake Prada?) So Quinn comes following the dad, and finds him session on the stairs of his commercial establishment, listless. “You can’t delay what’s coming,” he says, as he was basically just waiting on account of a warm body to show up in like manner he could be all dramatic touching pulling out this gun and blowing his swallow all over the wall. Quinn gasps, since she realizes that yet again she has none real story of her own, and Olivia has round twelve.

At least THIS is not her story:

If this actor has been expectation for a new IMDb profile photo, I ween he’s found it. Senator McDonnell was taped through . his prostitute wearing a makeshift diaper and then, yes, dirtying it with the yield of his anal tube.

Cyrus laughs really hard when he sees this — like, cackles himself breathless. And Jeff Perry does not sell it. At all. It’s cacophonic and forced and I’ve determined this is because he hated it. And didn’t rely upon it needed to be there, and didn’t compass Cyrus would walk into a expanse and shriek, “DID A UNITED STATES SENATOR JUST… ON CAMERA… AHAHAHAHAHAHA,” and in the way that he just could NOT do anything limit overplay it. Like a coded intimation.

Abby is not pleased to discover out that Senator Diaper’s projected reinstatement in Virginia is Charles “Chip” Putney, a.k.a. the ex-married man who beat her senseless. And Fitz has already endorsed him.

He is played through . Michael Trucco, whom you might grant from One Tree Hill (and whether you don’t, WHAT WERE YOU DOING WITH YOUR LIFE) or Battlestar Galactica. My darling snarkmonkey Paul Adelstein is running Chip’s campaign now that YUM YUM CRISPY PIGGY is no longer in play. Fitz thoughtfully uses Abby’s decided NAME when introducing her to Senator Putney, and seems startled to learn that Chip is her husband. The others seem aware, but Fitz does not. Really? NOBODY briefed him on that part of it? Although honestly, they could be seized of, but if the sentence didn’t extremity with, “Olivia Pope naked on a bed of pancakes,” he wouldn’t be delivered of heard it anyway.

Speaking of which, Olivia is NOT naked right this weight, and I’m glad of it on this account that that jacket is great. She is dialing David Rosen athwart and over and over again and barking things into his voicemail not far from Jake Ballard, while Huck and Quinn transfer lengthy exposition for us reminding us YET AGAIN about the Folder of Pope and the thing done that they haven’t told Liv in various places it yet because they need to concatenation this out deeper into the incidental event so that it feels less heedless.

Darby Stanchfield is very affecting in this digression, particularly in this scene. She has called Olivia to her in a causeless, and is cowering behind her desk. Liv slips in with a dry-cleaning bag and comes to Abby’s side, with real gentleness. Abby tells her that she kept it together as best she could in Fitz’s station , but as soon as she was alone, she threw up in the bathroom and got more of it on her dress. My act of asking is why her office doesn’t fragrance like baked vomit at this moment. Maybe Olivia mistook it for Parmesan cheese and straightforward thought Abby had thrown her lunch pasta into her wastebasket.

Abby, nevertheless, is shaken. She isn’t fully convinced how to handle this. Olivia insists she should make mention of Fitz that the man he endorsed within a little broke her on every level. Abby refuses. “He’s a some one being to you. To the rest of us, he’s the President. He’s some idea,” Abby says. Which is a dainty distinction to draw, but I dress in’t believe it coming from her because she was a Gladiator first and thus she Knows Things about Fitz that would travel over it very difficult for her to slip into that fantasy of him whither he’s a concept besides than a person. Olivia steadies Abby and asks, “What bestow you want?” Abby knows what she means and insists the Putney line of ancestors owns Virginia. “You can’t Handle this,” she says. “WATCH ME,” Liv intones, and on the model of this my notes read, “Awwww yeah,” inasmuch as it’s “Car Wash” time baby, only what’s getting wiped unmixed is this person:

Yes, that’s not her visage, but that’s what you want to know about Chip Putney’s enemy’s campaign. EVERY poster was made through . a child, although that’s going to cessation up coming in handy.

Olivia walks in determined to make ready this woman the next U.S. senator, in the way that she immediately fixes it the and nothing else way she knows how: by shitting totality over this woman’s underfunded and for that which is less than publicized campaign, ridiculing her tiny campaign deride, and essentially belittling her in oppose of every person in her company. Even though there are admittedly solitary like ten. OBVIOUSLY if this woman COULD accept more people and an actual sizable take courage, she would; it’s not like they are sitting around playing Drinking Jenga. “I’M OLIVIA POPE,” Liv thunders, expecting our damsel Susan Ross to kowtow. And she does, on this account that this is Scandal.

Of course, Liv’s ideas beneficial to winning this campaign are two: implying this woman is a horrid she-beast and frowning and wincing as long as they forcibly wax her face, and in consequence digging up non-Abby dirt on Putney because that is the but way they can elect this someone. If I were Susan Ross, I would hold said, “You might be Olivia Pope, moreover no white smoke came out of my body of cardinals’s chimney,” and turfed her.

Paul Adelstein pops into Abby’s position to ask where she and Chip Putney are through each other, you know, emotionally, and so. Because he has noticed what I started yapping with regard to last season, which is that he and Abby in all probability need to get it on at the earliest source of comfort. No, seriously, he says he necessarily to know whether they’re acknowledging their overflowing sexual tension or ignoring it. ACKNOWLEDGE, Paul. Always own.

A car bomb blew up in West Angola, what one. only has anything to do through Man Bangs for Hire because Cyrus uses it to vegetable information: He tells him Fitz has ordered the U.S.S. Roosevelt to the pageant, when in fact, Fitz ACTUALLY ordered the U.S.S. Truman. O SNAP YO. It’s a touchstone: If this information makes its interval into the press, specifically out of the aperture of Portia de Rossi, then Cyrus be inclined know that his concubine is spying through his hair curtain.

Mellie is contemplating creating a Grant chinaware pattern. It will be hollow and wavering about itself. She does, however, accord. the Reagan and the Roosevelt china the most exquisite look of extreme boredom, and Portia de Rossi strolls in to suppose hello, because apparently you can pure walk in on the First Lady allowing that you want. Portia greets her pleasantly, and Mellie points out that Eleanor Roosevelt authorized her porcelain pattern to create jobs: “She didn’t give a rat’s ass round china any more than I make.” Mellie complains that the twenty-four hours there’s a female president, “First Lady” determination end up becoming a real, non-condescendingly-named paid attitude rather than just let a subject die on the vine. I sympathize through Mellie, but also, it’s not like she didn’t discern what the job was when they ran with respect to office. Portia, however, is licking her chops transversely this delicious prey. She calmly tells Mellie that she’d like to debate foreign policy “and how you be possible to help the party shape it.” Mellie laps this up like a dog empty of affection.

Liv wants into Supermax, in the same manner she keeps haranguing David Rosen notwithstanding how to get inside. His option to help her contains at in the smallest degree two too many glib quips, everything delivered at breathless speed, including “This isn’t JailhouseMingle.com,” “They added SUPER to the before that time quite clear MAXIMUM SECURITY,” and, “That mansion holds people who eat people,” referring to Jeffrey Dahmer. It’s master-piece overwritten Scandal dialogue. I’ve realized that this look has Sorkinist aspirations without realizing that Sorkin is one as well as the other hard to replicate, frequently a small in number steps too far itself, and possessed of diminishing returns the longer he corsets at it.

Liv finally gets in a vocable to tell David that he’s erroneously about her wanting to see Jake. What she DOES longing:

And these scene made me ROLL MY EYES like you would not put confidence in. What’s it about? How beauteous Olivia is. Seriously. Tom gazes at her and starts panting, maxim that he never really got to LOOK at her for the cause that he was always keeping his eyes on the perimeter to protect his president. “I’ve at no time really seen you,” he says. “And you. Are. BEAUTIFUL. The visage that launched a thousand ships.” When I tell that Olivia Pope is becoming the Joey Potter of this point out to, I don’t mean it at the same time that a compliment.

Tom then goes forward to talk about how Fitz in reality revolves around her, and he doesn’t hear why Olivia ever left him. “Was it an order from Command?” he asks. Liv says her progenitor doesn’t give her orders, and Tom scoffs — while too still devouring her with his eyes — that Olivia doesn’t possess a father. “You were raised by Command. Command doesn’t be in actual possession of a family. Command has soldiers,” he says.

I veritably think they should have done her hair more fit if they were going to advance all Helen of Troy here.

Tom afterward tells the story of bringing Fitz to Olivia’s station the day he realized she’d left city, and the horny, abandoned yawp he give permission to loose. “He’s my president, and he needed you. He wanted to die. He tried, you discern,” Tom says. “I could harbor him from everyone except you. I could at no time protect him from you, Miss Pope.” And THEN he goes back to, “You ARE graceful. But really it’s the kind of’s behind your eyes.  And you be aware of they all love you — my president, Jake, Command, and I have power to see why,” and he REPEATS that her impudence launched a thousand ships and says she’s the like as Helen of Troy because their fathers were as well-as; not only-but also; not only-but; not alone-but gods. And like… I receive it; it’s the capital time he’s stared lawful at her, but just for once it might be nice to strive after any of these people love her instead of her mind. Fitz might, but he doesn’t express it, and Jake basically just tells her to enclose up and have sex with him. It would get been strange in this moment because Tom to say, “You are stunning, but also, you have this really banging brain and personality for days,” if it be not that… I mean. JUST ONCE. Someone. Anyone. Although it might be a lie that she has existence for days. I actually don’t be sure that she does have much of human being.

She is feisty, though, and she jumps into performing here. She tells Tom urgently that Command doesn’t like unfasten ends, and Tom is the true definition of one. She warns him that her progenitor will order Tom killed the same passage he did Jerry Grant, but Tom does not vary his story. He still implicates Jake.

It’s a good thing Olivia waived her fee with respect to Susan Ross For State Senate, as she’s kind of moiety-assing this. Here, she’s realizing that Susan Ross is extreme on television, and then gets each idea when she sees Huck joking round with the woman’s daughter. Note to Olivia: I bring into being this was helpful, but Huck tortures clan with home hardware equipment. Keep him gone from people’s children.

The ensuing ad, nevertheless, is hilarious. They use the daughter to chat up her mother…

… and her spring’s college degree, and her dead venerable man …

… and oh, yeah, her grandfather the coal miner, because Susan Ross is OF THE PEOPLE. There are usual cutaways to her pink bunny slippers similar to she takes us all on a photographic pilgrimage of her life, and it’s in truth. really well done — it’s distinct it’s meant to subsist funny to US and yet also hitting every single obvious hot button. Including:

“My Mom Susan For Senate” cracks me up. I possibility of good they change the ballot to make out “My Mom Susan.”

Everyone knows Olivia has taken up Susan Ross’s originate, so Putney corners Abby in the parking garage and tries to slither his street into her good graces. He talks around how great she looks, and by what means much fun they could have on the supposition that he weren’t married, that time gets snotty with her when she points out that he for the most part killed her — you know, the wonted “Oh THAT old song and move to music” defense that creepy assholes practice. “It’s always the disapprove game with you, Abby,” he says.

And that time she does something that she is VERY LUCKY worked out by reason of her: She goes into her car and entirely bends and crawls into it, leaving herself TOTALLY defenseless and liable to injury for the several minutes it takes her to scramble around in there. Luckily for her, Putney uses that book to check our her ass from a distance, rather than get violent with her; I’m indeed rather surprised they blocked it this course. Abby would NEVER have turned her back forward her abuser for that long, and in a principle where she could not have defended herself suppose that he’d decided to necessitate himself on top of her.

It does be in action, though, because she eventually comes out of there in the nick of time by a gun. But seriously, it took her to such a degree long to GET it that this was a unable to speak idea. Because this is TV, she gets it neat and waves it in his meet in front and explains that she will discharge him in the face. So he slinks done back to the Factory of Stereotypical TV Villains how he came.

Abby confides in Liv, who tells her to exercise her podium, especially because of completely the women it would inspire.  Abby points out that they did that as antidote to years, fixing people, but “the kind of happened to those women, Liv? They became Anita Hill, Monica Lewinsky. They stood up, Liv. They stood up and told their invention. But where are they now?” Darby Stanchfield is doing a in fact nice job with this episode. I wager this is her Emmy submission. Quite perhaps the first one she’s for aye had with this show.

The single redeeming feature about Liv’s bedroom is that closet. And of the things IN declared closet, I do love this poncho she’s wearing. See? I am tender.

If you stare at the clouds in Fitz’s coloring, you might see a butterfly, or a infant., or the words FITZ IS THE WORST.

Because Fitz calls Liv to divulge her that Jake gets an sixty minutes of sunlight a day and is else well fed and guarded. But he gets exasperated and condescending when he finds out she went to Supermax, until she tells him it was to look Tom. “He told me you tried to kill yourself,” she says. Fitz is quiet and then asks her what, exactly, room for expectation means to her. He testily asks grant that she just told him that to deliver Jake. “I don’t lie,” Olivia says. “Then get to over here and prove it,” he says, on this account that, what, the only way he’s going to give credit to her is if she performs a skin-flute sonata? The blade rushes to his junk in staccato bursts that, in Morse Code, spells out IT SUCKS BEING THE WANG OF A GUY WHO IS THE WORST.

Olivia tactfully apologizes because of saying anything and upsetting him, and that she have power to tell he’s drunk. Fitz would the more so have phone sex. So he tells her exactly that which he would do with her. And, surprise surprise, it involves construction her COMPLETELY submissive to him, inasmuch as — like Rowan before him — the whole of he wants is to own her, unless problematically I don’t cogitate she show SEES that about him. He says, and impediment’s just get the healthy thing down here: “I’d take along all your clothes. I wouldn’t kiss you even now. I’d make you wait with a view to that. And once I get you unmasked, I’d be scattered you out on the desk in the same state I could see you, every twelfth part of a foot of you, and then I’d differ at the bottom and work my progression up slowly, deliberately… and at that time once you’re begging me, and I wouldn’t be at a stand-still until you were begging me, I’d finally kiss you, on the mouth, likewise you could taste yourself.” And to this place, Olivia is swooning. I mean… solemnly, if a dude said that to me I would cachinnate in his face. LAUGH IN HIS FACE. It’s like trying to turn on a lady by reading a Nora Roberts novel out positive without any sense of humor ready it. And yet Olivia is fanning herself and all but licking the phone. You two deserve each other. She gulps and asks, “Then which?” And Fitz says cheerfully, “That depends attached how much hope there is,” and hangs up adhering her. She falls back on the foundation, groaning with the lady equivalent of azure balls.

Oh, and after continued catfishing and some aborted meet-up at an colonnade — where Huck actually lets Javi tolerate wait for him, a person he thinks is more random stranger, and then just stares at him through a window; this is both a shitty transaction to do AND terrible parenting, for the reason that he should be telling Javi not to give his information to Internet strangers who main turn out to be creepy guys who salt-spring the faces of their conquests — Javi finds Huck and is wholly casual about it. “I’ve seen pictures. I perceive you’re my dad,” he says. “I want to know why you left.” Huck sits him on the ground and says, “Son, there comes a time in every man’s life when he takes a piece of work-work as a black-ops agent, torturing the masses, drilling into human flesh and getting turned on by the viscera and the farrago and the cleanup, and then that servant has to go live in a pit for a while, and then in the Metro, though you’d think that would require taught a man NOT to respire through his nose when in certainty that is ALL this man does. And therefore that man might take a piece of work-work working for a woman with vast coats, and murder a few added people, and then pull out the teeth of the woman he loves judgment having sex with her, and that’s for what cause I left.” Or at least, in an entertaining show, that’s that which he would’ve said.

Adelstein comes in and gloats to Abby that they’ve driven the claw into Susan Ross’s burial casket: She was never married to the moderate girl’s dead father, and voters and Republicans disposition hate her for it. “YAHTZEE,” he crows, inasmuch as they won and Olivia Pope absent. I love it — nobody uses the vocable YAHTZEE enough. Abby is perturbed, nevertheless, and calmly sits back in her seat of justice and says, “My jaw was wired close the door upon for six weeks and I againery vessel have a pin in it… and my two obverse teeth are fake. My collarbone hurts whenever it’s going to rain. Charles did that to me. So yeah, you won. Yahtzee.” BOOM. Good with respect to her.

I mean, seriously, don’t plane dress her underneath the coats. They are enough.

Rowan is raging that Liv went to see Tom. She can’t believe he had her followed, and therefore wonders rhetorically why she is surprised. I too wonder why she is surprised. Do ALL of these clan have selective amnesia where this shore is concerned?

And then, another salivary Niagara. “You perform not disrespect me. EVER. Can I do that any clearer?” Rowan spits. “I’m the person who protects the republic. I’m the single who protects you.” He says he spent a lifetime trying to clear her avenue, so that she might never fitting an obstacle nor anything less than everyone’s honeyed words. “You might not believe this. You may conceive I’m a misguided profligate dinosaur from my museum who attacks without thinking. Let me assure you I am not,” he hisses. “When I stamp it is precise and it is by reason of a reason, and you do not interfere, you fare not get in the way, and you not ever, ever choose one of them from one side to the other me. I won’t be the subject of it.” SINCE WHEN. Dear Scandal: You did  TWO SEASONS in what one. Rowan Pope didn’t give one single solitary crap about Olivia. They had a strained propinquity. She chose a LOT of the public over him for a long time and he didn’t care to the time when you needed a cliffhanger. Get to boot yourselves.

“What’s unencumbered is that you seem to own wasted a lifetime doing all the improperly things,” she says. He puts his hands encompassing her cheeks, and she jerks off. “Against me, you will be defeated,” he says simply.

Meanwhile, Tom’s berth inspection turns bloody. “I be delivered of a message from Command,” the body of defenders says, and then he stabs Tom like six spells and leaves him for dead. And, corrupter, this is how you know Rowan had matter of no consequence to do with it. Rowan doesn’t adieu anyone for dead. If he wants you dead, he makes secure.

Oh, hey, remember the Case of the Week? So does Scandal. Liv gets out her shoehorn and pries generous the episode and shoves in a show where she finds out about the Olivia Pope Folder. She is creeped out that someone has been following her. Uh, someone is ALWAYS following you, Olivia. We in reality just had a scene all relative to how your FATHER is always following you. This would accept been a lot more effective if they hadn’t tried to propel it here. It feels like they regard NO idea where to put at alldegree of these scenes to keep that storyline breathing, and the thing is, nobody cares in such a manner it had better be going someplace fit or else it’s not integrity the ham-fisted effort.

Mellie puts on her very highest hair and her in the greatest degree powerful power-shirt and turns her interview about the Grant china into a paper tract on West Angola. And she drops the U.S.S. Roosevelt bomb.

Cyrus, who had been cuddling with his rental — who must have existence paid handsomely by Cyrus because he doesn’t arise to do anyone else — freaks out in regard to this. As Hooker T. Washington crawls into set with him and hands him a specific coffee order, he coos, “I discern all your weaknesses now, Cy.” And Cyrus gulps, “Yes, you finish.” I hope he has to hire Olivia to fasten his prostitute problem.

I really wish I could disclose if this was catastrophic or cute. It could set out either way. Sometimes TV directors are in the same manner selfish, you know?

Paul Adelstein has popped through . to celebrate that Chip Putney withdrew from the senate offspring. Apparently someone leaked to the crush that Chip set up Senator Diaper and paid the woman to minute the whole thing, to force the chasm. “Susan Ross is going to be the next senator in Virginia,” he says, wincing. Abby realizes he leaked it on this account that she told him Chip is a dirtbag. “Whaaaat? Please,” Paul says. And afterward he kisses her. Abby lets him, in that case sits back and marvels that she did. “Have more more bourbon and I’ll delineate your boob,” he offers, teasingly, and they both laugh, and he is a satisfaction. Sorry, David Rosen. You’ve been Handled perpendicular out of my affections.

As Mellie surveys her what is yet to be kingdom, Fitz comes out to virago her for talking foreign policy instead of place settings. She smiles coldly at him and tells him that she’s merely doing exactly what he screeched at her to end. “You hated Drunk Mellie and Crybaby Mellie and Smelly Mellie, and there was one about food, I don’t know what you called it. I like to count of it as Chicken-Fried Mellie. You wanted those Mellies gone, in the way that they’re gone, she purrs. “Here I am. The positive Mellie. Remember how much you hated the real Mellie? Be careful what you wish with regard to.” Sometimes people wonder why I like Mellie so much. A big part of the intellectual powers is that Fitz Is The Worst, and to such a degree I LOVE it when people force him in his place, and insignificant person wounds him with that quite since much as  Mellie can. Therefore, I watch to like Mellie even though she’s terminated some pretty awful things in her story as well.

Fitz is all shocked and appalled that she’s giving him lip. Mellie snaps that she held him up towards twenty years and never complained not far from any of his bullshit, but she had a two-month tragedy-induced food coma and he ripped her to shreds. This is a mouth-piece oversimplified — he also was very sympathetic to her for a fate of that time, and I seriously doubt she never complained about somewhat of his bullshit. I think we smooth heard her do that. I like Mellie, further let’s not recast Mellie as a wounded, wronged angel, because division of what I REALLY like near her is that she’s complicated and thoroughly defective. Nonetheless, she is cross, and other thing so when she answers Fitz’s phone despite him and it’s Olivia.

And Fitz is level MORE shocked and appalled when he finds out which’s been going down: Tom survived his knifing, and called Olivia and confessed forward tape that Rowan was behind the spoil and not Jake. Liv tells Fitz that she played Tom candid the way Rowan would have, having Quinn pay the take care to stab him and, presumably, travel over sure he lived. It’s ludicrous that Tom didn’t get scent of a rat the second he woke up. If ANYONE should be aware of that when Rowan wants you dead you don’t wake up, it’s Tom.

As this sinks in, Olivia has a montage of flashbacks to her telling Fitz there is hope, to her progenitor insisting she’ll lose, to Jake giving her consent not to choose him (because God interdict she make a choice that a husband doesn’t bless; I abominate carping about all that stuff ad nauseum boundary it’s really getting to me). And we end forward Jake entering Fitz’s crib, met by Fitz and Olivia. It’s a bunker we’ve been in preceding; it was here that Olivia and Mellie and Fitz met back Olivia was implicated as his female sovereign, and they brainstormed a way to run over most of the truth about it to such a degree that they would all be unconstrained. And we know how THAT went. And now we’re back with not the same love triangle, but unlike last time, not at all Wronged Angel in White. So perhaps this will get down and dull. CHOOSE YOURSELF, OLIVIA. LET KELLY TAYLOR BE YOUR GUIDE.